From Bipedal to a quadruped

I suppose, depending on how you look at, I have either climbed up or descended, the food chain recently. I guess, technically, I have slid down the food chain because, while I am at home alone I have transformed from a bipedal being to a quadruped. We have decided that, since I am so unsteady and shaky on my feet that, when I am at home alone, I should utilize both of the canes that I have at home; so, like one of the performers in the stage production of The Lion King, I have a cane in each hand and away I go. Granted, my 90-year-old grandmother could probably still pass me up, but at least I’m giving it a go and trying to be a little safer. Naturally I’m not as elegant as the Broadway performers in The Lion King—trust me, I’ve seen them, it’s breath taking—but at least this way I will hopefully remain on my feet and not end up sprawled on the floor with rug burn on this beautiful alabaster skin I have been “blessed” with.

Naturally, though, 2 minutes after I type that paragraph I get up to do something without using the canes and go crashing head first into the wall of my bedroom, nearly knocking myself out. It’s all right, you can laugh, I did, it was a bonehead move on my part and I should know better to use my cane, but all I did was turn around to grab my phone and TIMBER!