Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Cancellations

Last week was a hard week for me. I had to wean off of my meds that had finally gotten me sleeping through the night and not upchucking every two seconds so that I could have a VNG (videonystagmagogrophy) test on the 8th. I did the best that I could weaning myself off, but in order to make it to church on Sunday I HAD to take an anti-emetic medication, but by Monday morning, I was a mess. I was throwing up bright yellow bile (TMI, I know) and in so much pain.

My mom called the audiologist and he said that it sounded like with or without the medication I was too sick to undergo the VNG, so I ended up not having that test. He said it would be better for me to have it down the road when I’m not so ill. I have officially lost 40 pounds because I cannot eat much of anything, partially due to the illness, partially due to one of the medications that I am taking. We all know I’m a beefy girl and can stand to lose a few 40 pounds, so it’s no big deal, but the method in which I am losing the weight is the problem. I am basically starving myself to death, even though I try to force myself to eat a little something; and I still throw up every now and again, but I’ve got that down to such a science, I need to put it down as a skill on my resume.

I just need people to understand that, while I may not LOOK ill, I really AM. They just don’t know what it is yet. I had another MRI on Monday that was focused in on my inner ears to see if there are any tumors or malformations or anything of the inner ears and I see my new Neurologist this Thursday to see what she thinks of all of this nonsense. I’m realistic that this could be permanent. Naturally, I want to be healed, but if that’s not in God’s plan for me, I’m down with it, because there’s nothing that I can do to change it. I’ve already decided that if I’m going to be in a wheelchair I’m going have it upholstered with zebra print or if I have to use arm canes I want them spray painted with zebra stripes, maybe some cute skulls and cross bones, something to make it Christine! You all know that I take things in stride pretty well, so that’s what I’m doing now.

That’s the skinny for now.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Struggling…Suffering….But Getting Through

This week has been a really rough one for me. I am having an MRI on Monday that will be focused in on my inner ears to see if there are tumors or malformations of the boney structures of my ears. Then, on Tuesday, I will be having a test called a VNG test (Google it); which requires me to be completely off of all of my medication 48 hours before the test, so tonight is my last night taking my meds until after the test on Tuesday. I am already struggling. I’m having a hard time walking, talking, and focusing. I tend to doze off and cry a lot because I am in pain with a migraine, but there is nothing that I am allowed to take for it except Advil, which barely touches it; but I am getting through.

Please remember me in prayer because, as much as I am putting up a front and really am pushing to get through it, I am having a hard time. They said they VNG test will make my symptoms worse, so that means Barf City USA here I come, yippe skipee! On a good note: I’ve dropped 40lbs, but the means by which I have lost the pounds aren’t good, but, hey, at least I’m getting skinnier!

I am also now a published freelance writer online on a sight called suite101.com. You kinda have to fish around to find me. I’ve had 4 articles published so far and am working on my 5th one right now. Like my blog, I have to work on Word so that I can make the font big enough for me to see the words on the screen because my sight is so bad, but at least I’m getting something accomplished.

Don’t be surprised if you see me in a wheelchair tomorrow. I just cannot walk long distances anymore. My balance, on or off the medication, has gotten so bad that I run the risk of being flat on my face, so a wheelchair and I have become friends. See y’all tomorrow….hopefully!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Hug Me…I Won’t Break…I Promise

Ok, I get it; people are sometimes scared of hugging other people that are sick. It’s understandable. Generally speaking, people who are sick are frail and weak; and, while I am weak, I am by no means frail. Have you ever seen me?! I’m beefy!! I’ve lost at least 36 pounds during this illness, but I am not frail, so you can still give me a hug, I’m not going to snap in two!

Everyone also needs to remember that I’m not contagious either. Whatever it is that I have, you CANNOT catch, so don’t worry about getting sick from me; it’s not going to happen! The verdict is still out whether it is an inner ear or brain issue, but we’re pretty sure it’s a brain issue [insert joke here]. There are just too many other factors going on for it to be an inner ear problem, but I am having an MRI on Monday aimed specifically at my inner ears (who even knew they did that?!) and then I’m having a ENG/VNG test done on Tuesday to REALLY test if it’s my inner ears. Between those two tests we’ll know for sure whether my ears are involved at all and then we’ll go from there.

I’ve been told that the ENG/VNG test will make my symptoms worse for two reasons: (1) I have to go off of my meds for 48 hours before the test and (2) the testing itself involves movements that may cause my symptoms to get worse, so please remember to pray for me on Tuesday. I’m not looking forward to it…AT ALL! I can handle the MRI on Monday, that’s cake compared to the ENG/VNG test the next day.
I’ve already started weaning myself off of my meds, hence the early morning blog. My sleeping pattern is all messed up, but I’m dealing with it. If you come out for a visit and I fall asleep in the middle of the conversation, don’t take it personally, it’s just because I cannot help it. I don’t even realize I’ve fallen asleep sometimes, so I get just as frustrated.

Well, that’s it for now. Just thought that I would give a little update since I hadn’t written in a while.