Anyone who has watched television has seen the commercials for the different kinds of weight loss pills, powders, drinks, and bars that are promoted by the Kardashians, Jillian Michaels, and the like. We’ve also seen the weight loss programs promising a slimmer waist “in just two weeks!” being hocked by Valerie Bertanelli, Jason Alexander, Angie Everheart, and Marie Osmond. Well, I say pooy to them all! Everyone should try the VHNV Diet designed by me! What is this VHNV Diet that I am speaking of? Well, it stands for Vertigo, Headaches, Nausea, and Vomiting, of course! You’ll be too busy being dizzy, in pain, nauseous, and bent over a toilet than thinking about eating anything, so you are guaranteed—or you’ll get a FULL REFUND, no questions asked—to lose at least 20 pounds in less than 2 months! Your diet will consist of: water, Saltines, Jell-O, and tiny sips of a protein drink; then, within an hour’s time, you’ll be in the bathroom singing into the porcelain microphone, thus, ridding yourself of everything you just took in. Trust me, it works!
Though I am joking about it, this has seriously been my life for 2 months. I know that I’m fat, I see myself in the mirror every day, so it’s not like I need to be reminded to lose weight (that’s directed to the doctors of the world), but this is absolutely ridiculous! There have been times when I cannot even keep WATER down, let alone anything of nutritional value. Mostly I eat about 5 Saltines, ¼ of an 11oz. canned protein drink (I flip flop between Pure Protein, Ensure, and now am going to try Boost), and water. That’s it! Sometimes I’ll be able to eat a couple of tablespoons of potatoes, but I don’t even do that often for fear of them resurfacing before they have been masticated enough. Then, within an hour or two, I am in the bathroom evacuating everything from my stomach. Right now I am probably the world’s fattest anorexic, because that is how I am eating right now. I don’t like it, not that I’m a big eater to begin with, but I just cannot keep anything down.
As a response to the lack of nutrition that I am getting my heart rate has been really high (the last time it was checked it was 105), but, thankfully, my blood pressure has been amazing (111/79). I also run out of steam VERY quickly. Today I went to California Baptist University to go support some friends of mine that are doing an International Service Project mission trip to Thailand and the Philippines (check out this video they made http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrtcL82uKmk and email me or contact CBU to find out how you can donate to their trip). I was only there an hour and a half, sitting 95% of the time, and by the time I got home, I was done. I was completely worn out just getting ready to go, let alone actually driving into Riverside and going to the event; but I felt that it was important that I showed up and give these wonderful young people support. Even though I couldn’t give money, I could show them that I am praying for them and their mission while they are there. They were going to continue the evening with a movie called “Hearing Everett”, but I just didn’t have it in me to stick around to see it. I am back to the analogy I have used before: I don’t think that I have the strength to kill a half-dead fly.
I know that this illness is a test from the Lord, a way to see how I will respond, whether I will lose faith or become stronger in Him. I, personally, believe that I have become stronger in Him. I have not once been afraid in all of this that it could be something terrible like cancer or MS, because I know that He is and has been with me through it all. I suppose there is always the potential that it could turn out to be something serious, but I have chosen not to dwell on it, but to do my part as a patient and as a Christian, doing the exercises and the praying that is required of me.
As for the weight, I hope that once I am well I will be able to keep it off and get back to the gym and continue losing weight, though in a much more appropriate manner of course. At the end of the day, though, I am me, Christine Rachuy, no matter how much I weigh. If my gurthiness, fluffiness, or rolls bother you, than just don’t look at me! I am not going to change who I am for anyone but myself. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, is what I always say. I may be fat with 20 piercings, multi-colored hair, and black eye make-up on, but that doesn’t mean that I’m gluttonous, mean, or scary. I am me, Christine Rachuy, and if you don’t like it, you’ll either have to learn to live with it or move on.
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Hey, you stole the name of your diet from me...!!Mary
ReplyDeleteSo don't you have an appointment with a neurologist this coming week? Or did you already go? We're praying for you Christine.
ReplyDeleteI've been to the neurologist twice and he thinks its something to do with my inner ears. The ENT says that its neurological, as does my primary doctor and my physical therapist. My physical therapist said that if this were an inner ear issue it would have cleared up by now. At this point I feel like they're just waiting for me to collapse before their very eyes.
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