The Blind Seems to Only Be Getting Blinderer (And more creative word making)

Have you ever seen those Claritin commercials where it starts off really hazy and the person, whether it be the fictitious veterinarian or the fictitious golfer, complains how their allergies make them feel like they’re so hazy, like they’re constantly in a fog until…TA-DA…they take Claritin and they are magically restored to normal life and they finally lift the haze off of the commercial? Imagine if the haze is never lifted. Imagine if your sight, on the worst of days (visually speaking) always looks like that. On my worst visual days, that is exactly how things appear to me, like I have a film of some kind over my eyes; though, thus far, they have checked out all right.

I have worn glasses since I was 3 ½ years old—I know, I know 3 ½!—so I am quite used to changes in my eyesight, but this blurriness is like nothing I have ever experienced before in my life! It’s because of that blurriness that I am unable to read and, at times, even able to see our television clearly. Back when this all started and I was still attempting going to work, it was a shot in the dark whether or not my make-up looked decent or not. I told my mom, who was standing a foot in front of me, that I couldn’t even make out her face. I could see that there was a person there, a blob for a nose, and two blobs for eyes, but any distinctive features were completely obscured. Rather than be scared by it, I just became frustrated because I love to read and write, take pictures, watch T.V, all activities that, in my own personal life, require eyesight (I say that, because I know that the blind can read and write and watch T.V, but I’m referring to actually seeing what I’m doing with my eyes).

I go to see the Ophthalmologist on Monday morning to get my eyes thoroughly checked, so we’ll see if I actually do have something going on with my eyes.
They called to tell me that I had to have a designated driver because they would be dilating my eyes, to which I said “I have to have one anyway, I haven’t driven in over a month!”. I’m sure that my prescription has changed, even though I just had my eyes checked in November, but we’ll see what the doctor has to say. Would be interesting if all of this nonsense is due to some sudden change in my prescription.

I just hope that I will be able to pick up a book soon and be able to read it without having to cross my eyes or open my eyes really wide and move the book around in order to read the words on the page. I hope that I can bring down the font I have to currently type in (today it is Times New Roman 22, with the value of the document at 100%--try it and see how big that is!) to something normal. I keep reminding myself that it is all in God’s time, so I am trying my best to remain patient. I cannot say that I don’t get frustrated sometimes, but I think that a little frustration in the face of a long illness is allowed