Pass The Maylox Please

Here it is midnight, the night before I'm supposed to be seeing the ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist) and I cannot sleep because my stomach is killing me. Not a good thing. I'm sure that you've noticed how that it is a reoccurring theme with me: my stupid, idiotic, non-functioning stomach. I called my Gastroenterologist this week to let him know that, despite having the endoscopy with botox two weeks ago, I am still experiencing the same symptoms (persistent vomiting, sometimes hours after consuming a food item and having it come up whole). Instead of having me come in, he's having me take a cocktail of drugs which includes 2 anti-emetics and one medication that helps food move through my system. I've been on all of these meds in different combinations in the past and, obviously, they haven't worked otherwise I wouldn't be where I am today. However, being the dutiful patient, I am taking the little cocktail as directed just so that I can say that I gave it the ol' college try before I give him a ring again and ask him what we're going to do next. Seriously, people, I ate a few tablespoons of rice and I can feel it sitting in my stomach going nowhere! That's not normal!

As much as I like my GI doctor (because I really do, he's a good doctor), sometimes I really don't think doctors in general realize how much pain and anguish they put their patients through by putting us on these different cocktails to try in different variations. I almost feel like a lab rat or something. I admit, I'm not expelling the contents of my stomach as much as I was before he put me on this cocktail, but I still am having intimate conversations with Porcelain John. I don't know....I guess my point is that I'm frustrated...I'm sick of being sick...I hurt in more ways than I can describe and I don't think that there are many people that can understand that. I'm not seeking sympathy...I'm not trying to have a pity party...I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad...I guess I'm just in a really bad place right now because everything is so up in the air with my health and it really stinks. At least when you have a concrete diagnosis with a concrete plan, you know what's ahead, but I'm just one conundrum after another which has the doctors scratching their heads and me sitting in complete darkness.

I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel for me, whether it be a cure, a successful treatment, the return of Jesus, or me going to Heaven; at this point, I'll take any of those scenarios. All I know is that I want the pain to stop.