Today was definitely a battle of the wills: my body’s will and my mind’s will. I think, at the end of the day, my body ended up winning out because I am paying the price of having had a long day. I feel as though I have been run over by a semi-truck, which then backed up over me, just to make sure I was nice and squished, because running over me once wasn’t good enough…just a little salt in the wound.
My day started off with a visit with my primary doctor, Dr. M. I like her; she’s very attentive and concerned about me. We even had a laugh over the fact that, out of all the patients that she sees, she remembers the date of when my illness began. That just shows the staying power I have in my doctor’s mind…though, that may not generally be a good thing, but I’m trying to take it as a positive. At any rate, she was impressed with the fact that I have somehow managed to keep my nutrition level JUST inside the normal range, despite barely being able to eat anything. I told her that it’s common sense and a nurse for a mother, but I know the real reason is God! She ordered more blood work and continued me on with a couple of the meds that I have been taking for a while that help a smidge; at least they take the edge off of the vertigo and the nausea. Then it was off to Target to do a little time-wasting shopping before I saw my Neurologist, Dr. H. He changed one of my meds to one that he says that he really likes and has proven to help with migraines and vertigo. It was kind of like “why didn’t you just put me on that in the first place?” moment but I took it in stride and smiled. So we’ll see how that medication pans out. This is really his last ditch effort before I decide to ask for a 2nd opinion. This has been going on for almost 3 months and, while I’m a patient person, there’s only SO MUCH patience that I can have when it comes to feeling the way that I do.
Next came time to go get some lab work done. What a lark that was! My veins are a mess because of my stay in the hospital, my nutritional status, and my hydration level. I have bruises up and down both arms from the IVs that I had in the hospital…I look like a druggie, but I know the real reason I have the tracks on my arms. The one on my right arm is a dilly! It’s my favorite! It’s the most color my skin has had in years! Lets be frank: I’m whiter than any member of the Cullen family or any of the Volturi put together, so having a nice bruise on my arm gives the illusion of a tan! Anyhow, the poor phlebotomist had to bust out a heating pad and thump the snot out of my left hand before she could get a vein good enough to draw blood from…I think she was quite shocked herself at how difficult it was. But, in the end, she got what I was there for and we shall see what the test results show.
After that Mom and I went for a mani/pedi session, most of which I slept through because I was so bushed. I felt bad for my ladies that do my nails because I wasn’t worth much, but my nails came out nice and, since that is what I go in there paying for, that’s all that matters. Then we had dinner at Coco’s and I ate ½ a cup of broccoli soup, but that turned out to not be such a good idea, because I am still paying for that transgression. It’s definitely got my tummy on urp mode, so I’m fighting some pretty serious nausea right now, but I shall prevail! Now I am just waiting for my meds to kick in so that the moment I hit the pillows I am OUT! If I flip-flop too much I will end up being awake for most of the night, so I try to wait until I am cross-eyed before I go to bed.
I have definitely learned my limit. An outing that is anything more than a couple of hours long is not such a good idea for me. I could hardly walk by the time I got home this evening and, considering I wasn’t walking well this morning to begin with, that’s not such a good thing. I guess you live and learn by your mistakes, so I have learned and will keep that in the back of my mind until my body has recuperated.
I think that is all for tonight. I will give one last piece of parting advice: make the last thing that you eat chocolate because when you barf it up, at least it’s guaranteed to be chocolate-y coming back up and makes the experience a whole lot better!
Showing posts with label vertigo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vertigo. Show all posts
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
A So-So, Kinda OK-ish Kind of Day (Update meets rant)
Today was one of those kinds of days where you don’t feel good, but you don’t feel horrible, you just feel kind of…BLAH. All day my symptoms, which seem to be stirring up much controversy between my different doctors, had ebbs and flows. What little I ate today (a couple of Saltines, a Pure Protein drink, Ginger Ale, and some potatoes—which is probably the most I have eaten in weeks) has, so far, managed to stay down. I had a little yakking (I’m using the least graphic word for the faint of heart and stomach) issue this morning, but managed to calm it down. I’ve had some pretty typical issues (swaying, falling backwards, tipping to the side) with my balance, that didn’t really change today, but the vertigo episodes were fairly minimal. My head, by and large, still had a lingering headache, but nothing like it was yesterday where I would have just preferred someone perform a decapitation (I’m not serious about decapitation, I’m using it metaphorically).
My frustration level, I have to say, has increased quite a bit, because it seems as though nobody can agree on a diagnosis for me. I am basically deteriorating right before their eyes, but everyone is pointing their fingers in different directions about the cause(s), the treatment, and so forth. I am basically functioning like an anorexic, NOT BY CHOICE, mind you, but because my stomach cannot seem to handle anything more than water and crackers. I mean, lets be real, I know that I need to lose weight, that’s a no brainer, but the WAY that I have been losing weight is not healthy. I almost feel like they are waiting for me to completely collapse before their very eyes before they actually will come to some kind of conclusion. I am not seeking this, in ANY WAY, as a method for the doctors to collaborate and come to a decision, but I just feel like a rubber ball being bounced around (and, in my condition, all that will get you is me upchucking into Ralph [my beloved barf bucket]).
I have embraced the fact that I have to use a cane to get around. It’s a better alternative than looking like a lush stumbling around because I can’t keep going in a straight line or ending up on the ground with a broken bone or bruises all over the place (and we all know how easily I bruise). I have maintained possession of the black cane from physical therapy; so it’s much more suitable to me, since black is a color so closely associated with my persona.
This has been an interesting journey, to say the least. Bouncing from doctor to doctor to doctor and back again has definitely built up my patience level, though I have always considered myself a very patient person anyway.
Physical therapy, while to the average person would be nothing, is a very difficult task for me, normally causing me to be knocked out for the rest of the day. I had therapy yesterday and was attached to a parachute harness and strapped into a booth where the therapist could make either the walls or the footplate or both move, leaving me the task of making a little mini-me stay inside a box in the middle of the screen. Sounds like no big deal, but when your brain is not communicating appropriately, it’s a lot more difficult than it sounds. When she had the booth AND the footplate moving at the same time…OHMAN, she was dead out of luck having me keep that mini-me in that box, it was just NOT happening! By the time I got home I had SUCH a headache and was so exhausted from the day, that I passed out on the couch shortly after 8pm (totally missing Adam Lambert singing on American Idol, which TOTALLY bummed me out), was led to bed mumbling incoherently all the way at 10pm, woke up for about ten minutes around 5:30am and then went back to bed and didn’t wake up until 10:15. I don’t think I have EVER slept that much in my entire life…well, okay, probably when I was a baby, but that doesn’t really count. That could have contributed to my symptoms being somewhat minimized today, but it’s hard to say. I guess I’ll have to wait until my next physical therapy appointment and see what happens the day after.
I attempted playing with my puppies today (okay, they’re not really puppies, they’re 5 and 7 years old), throwing Eden’s pet rock and ball for her and cuddling with Grace as much as she allows (she’s a silly strange animal…totally in her own little bubble). It was nice getting to do that, but it only lasted for about 30 minutes before the headache started and I came inside. Eden knows that Mama isn’t feeling very well; so she tends to kind of hang around me and just wants to be petted. She’ll have moments where all she wants is her rock or ball thrown, but most of the time she just sticks by me, like she KNOWS that I am ill. She’s very protective of me…she loves her Mama! AAAWWW!
I’m still having issues with my reading, though my eyes checked out fine (well, as fine as a “blind” persons eyes can be checked out as being). My speech is sometimes scatterbrained and muddled, me, the former Human Thesaurus, has lost—hopefully momentarily—her touch. The Neurologist, though, seems nonplussed by these symptoms, so we’ll see how this all ends up playing out. Hopefully, its that I wake up tomorrow morning or some morning in the NEAR future, with a spring in my step and not a sign of the illness I have been battling for 2 months (tomorrow is the 2 month mark).
My frustration level, I have to say, has increased quite a bit, because it seems as though nobody can agree on a diagnosis for me. I am basically deteriorating right before their eyes, but everyone is pointing their fingers in different directions about the cause(s), the treatment, and so forth. I am basically functioning like an anorexic, NOT BY CHOICE, mind you, but because my stomach cannot seem to handle anything more than water and crackers. I mean, lets be real, I know that I need to lose weight, that’s a no brainer, but the WAY that I have been losing weight is not healthy. I almost feel like they are waiting for me to completely collapse before their very eyes before they actually will come to some kind of conclusion. I am not seeking this, in ANY WAY, as a method for the doctors to collaborate and come to a decision, but I just feel like a rubber ball being bounced around (and, in my condition, all that will get you is me upchucking into Ralph [my beloved barf bucket]).
I have embraced the fact that I have to use a cane to get around. It’s a better alternative than looking like a lush stumbling around because I can’t keep going in a straight line or ending up on the ground with a broken bone or bruises all over the place (and we all know how easily I bruise). I have maintained possession of the black cane from physical therapy; so it’s much more suitable to me, since black is a color so closely associated with my persona.
This has been an interesting journey, to say the least. Bouncing from doctor to doctor to doctor and back again has definitely built up my patience level, though I have always considered myself a very patient person anyway.
Physical therapy, while to the average person would be nothing, is a very difficult task for me, normally causing me to be knocked out for the rest of the day. I had therapy yesterday and was attached to a parachute harness and strapped into a booth where the therapist could make either the walls or the footplate or both move, leaving me the task of making a little mini-me stay inside a box in the middle of the screen. Sounds like no big deal, but when your brain is not communicating appropriately, it’s a lot more difficult than it sounds. When she had the booth AND the footplate moving at the same time…OHMAN, she was dead out of luck having me keep that mini-me in that box, it was just NOT happening! By the time I got home I had SUCH a headache and was so exhausted from the day, that I passed out on the couch shortly after 8pm (totally missing Adam Lambert singing on American Idol, which TOTALLY bummed me out), was led to bed mumbling incoherently all the way at 10pm, woke up for about ten minutes around 5:30am and then went back to bed and didn’t wake up until 10:15. I don’t think I have EVER slept that much in my entire life…well, okay, probably when I was a baby, but that doesn’t really count. That could have contributed to my symptoms being somewhat minimized today, but it’s hard to say. I guess I’ll have to wait until my next physical therapy appointment and see what happens the day after.
I attempted playing with my puppies today (okay, they’re not really puppies, they’re 5 and 7 years old), throwing Eden’s pet rock and ball for her and cuddling with Grace as much as she allows (she’s a silly strange animal…totally in her own little bubble). It was nice getting to do that, but it only lasted for about 30 minutes before the headache started and I came inside. Eden knows that Mama isn’t feeling very well; so she tends to kind of hang around me and just wants to be petted. She’ll have moments where all she wants is her rock or ball thrown, but most of the time she just sticks by me, like she KNOWS that I am ill. She’s very protective of me…she loves her Mama! AAAWWW!
I’m still having issues with my reading, though my eyes checked out fine (well, as fine as a “blind” persons eyes can be checked out as being). My speech is sometimes scatterbrained and muddled, me, the former Human Thesaurus, has lost—hopefully momentarily—her touch. The Neurologist, though, seems nonplussed by these symptoms, so we’ll see how this all ends up playing out. Hopefully, its that I wake up tomorrow morning or some morning in the NEAR future, with a spring in my step and not a sign of the illness I have been battling for 2 months (tomorrow is the 2 month mark).
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Dizzy Comes and Dizzy Goes
When I get up in the morning I feel as if I have set sail on a cruise...a 3 hour cruise, if you get my drift. It's not a nice boat, so you feel every sway of the ship, and, though those 7 passengers were lucky enough to find that island, I have not been able to find that blasted place! The simplest things, scooping something out of a bowl, looking down to make sure that my socks are matching, bending over the sink to brush my teeth, all of them increase the dizziness. If I've decided to give going out a try (going to the grocery store with my mother, etc), by the time I've got myself dressed and ready to go, I'm ready to go to bed! I cannot walk without assistance because, after some testing by the physical therapist, I fall into the category of someone who is at risk of falling due to whatever it is that is going on with me.
After the physical therapist put me through some rather torturous tests, she decided that she thinks that it is possibly one of two things that are causing my symptoms. The first hypothesis is that I HAD an inner ear infection back in February when this all started and just didn't know it, thus causing cells in my inner ear to either have been killed off or damaged causing the vertigo and balance issues. The second hypothesis is that I suffer from atypical migraines which, like the inner ear infection, have either killed off or damaged cells in my inner ear thus causing my vertigo. She's leaning more toward the atypical migraines because I suffer from occasional headaches ("migraines"), but, unlike the typical migraine sufferer, I cannot take medicine and sleep off the headache. Plus, a twitch of the eye or hand usually accompanies my headaches.
My therapist has given me one exercise to start out with and I will start seeing her once a week to do exercises with her to try and fatigue the vertigo and make it go away. At this point, I have been doing the exercise the best that I can, but today has not been a good day. What little I ate came back up in my best impersonation of Linda Blair. On the upside, I've lost about 10 pounds, so I'm trying very hard to look at the up side of things. At least I know that this isn't all in my head (i.e. it's not really happening), but that it truly is something that happens to people and, over time, can be cured or managed.
After the physical therapist put me through some rather torturous tests, she decided that she thinks that it is possibly one of two things that are causing my symptoms. The first hypothesis is that I HAD an inner ear infection back in February when this all started and just didn't know it, thus causing cells in my inner ear to either have been killed off or damaged causing the vertigo and balance issues. The second hypothesis is that I suffer from atypical migraines which, like the inner ear infection, have either killed off or damaged cells in my inner ear thus causing my vertigo. She's leaning more toward the atypical migraines because I suffer from occasional headaches ("migraines"), but, unlike the typical migraine sufferer, I cannot take medicine and sleep off the headache. Plus, a twitch of the eye or hand usually accompanies my headaches.
My therapist has given me one exercise to start out with and I will start seeing her once a week to do exercises with her to try and fatigue the vertigo and make it go away. At this point, I have been doing the exercise the best that I can, but today has not been a good day. What little I ate came back up in my best impersonation of Linda Blair. On the upside, I've lost about 10 pounds, so I'm trying very hard to look at the up side of things. At least I know that this isn't all in my head (i.e. it's not really happening), but that it truly is something that happens to people and, over time, can be cured or managed.
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